|
Command Sgt. Maj. James D. Blankenbecler
is pictured saying goodbye to his daughter, Jessica, 14. He was killed October 1, 2003 in
Samarra, Iraq, 17 days after he deployed. |
The
following letter was written by Command Sgt. Maj. James D. Blankenbecler's 14-year old
daughter, Jessica, after he died.
Hi Daddy
"Sorry I havent written to you in a while. A lot of things have been
going on. I miss you so much. How have you been? Is heaven everything it says it is? I
know its probably that and more. I cant wait till I can come join you
again.
I miss you so much
just being here for me to hold your hand and you calling me princess. But one
day we can do this again. But it will be even better because Jesus will be with us.
I keep going in your office to see all your
things and your awards that you have gotten over the years. You accomplished so much. I am
proud you were my daddy; I would not have chosen anyone else. I like to go into your
closet, too and just touch and smell all your clothes ... it gives me so many memories
that I miss so much.
Sitting at this table I see your writing on
a little piece of paper telling me and mom what e-mail and address in Iraq to write to you
... CSM JAMES D. BLANKENBECLER, 1-44 ADA. I love to just look at your handwriting so much.
I have your military ring on right now.
Its kind of big for my little finger, but it makes me feel youre holding my
hand when I have it on ... Its been on since we found out the news.
I have your drivers license with me,
too, so I can just look at you whenever I want. You have a little smile this time. When we
went to get them done in [location withheld] I asked you to just smile this time ... and
you did it just for me. I also was looking at your car keys and that little brown leather
pouch you always had on your key chain. It made me cry a lot when I picked it up.
Everything reminds me of you so much. When
we pass by Chilis I remember you sitting across from me eating your favorite salad.
You always told the waiter to take off the little white crunchy things ... because you
hated them. And when we drive by billboards that say An Army of One, it makes
me remember you in your military uniform. How you always made a crunching sound when you
walked, and how you shined your big boots every night before you went to bed. I miss
seeing that all the time. Little things that I took for granted when you were here seem
priceless now.
One thing that I regret is when you wanted
to open my car door for me, but I always got it myself. I wish I would have let you do it.
And when you wanted to hold my hand, I sometimes would pull away because I didn'tt
want people to see me holding my daddys hand ... I feel so ashamed that I cared what
people thought of me walking down the parking lot holding your hand. But now I would give
anything just to feel the warmth of your hand holding mine.
I cant believe this has happened to my
daddy ... the best daddy in the whole world. It feels so unreal, like youre still in
Iraq. You were only there for 17 days. Why did they have to kill you? Why couldn't they
know how loved you are here? Why couldn't they know? You have so many friends that love
you with all their hearts and you affected each and every person you have met in your
lifetime. Why couldn't they know? When I get shots at the hospital I wont have my
daddys thumb to hold tight. Why couldn't they know I loved for you to call me
princess? Why couldn't they know if they killed you I would not have a daddy
to walk me down the aisle when I get married? Why couldn't they know all this? Why?
I know that you are gone now, but it only
means that I have another angel watching over me for the rest of my life. Thats the
only way I can think of this being good. There is no other way I can think of it.
All the kids at my school know about your
death. They even had a moment of silence for you at our football game. A lot of my
teachers came over to try to comfort me and mom. They all ask if they can get us anything,
but the only thing anyone can do is give me my daddy back ... and I dont think
anyone can do that.
You always told me and mom you never wanted
to die in a stupid way like a car accident or something like that. And you really didn't
die in a stupid way ... you died in the most honorable way a man like you could
protecting me, mom, J., A. [full names withheld] and the rest of the United States.
In the Bible it says everyone is put on this
earth for a purpose, and once they accomplished this you can return to Jesus. I did not
know at first what you did so soon to come home to God. But I thought about it you
have done everything. You have been the best husband, father, son and soldier in the
world. And everyone knows this.
One of my teachers called me from [location
withheld] and told me that when her dad died he always told her, when you walk
outside the first star you see is me. She told me that it is the same for me and
you. I needed to talk to you last night, and I walked outside and looked up ... and I saw
the brightest star in the sky. I knew that was you right away, because you are now the
brightest star in heaven.
I love you so much, daddy. Only you and I
know this. Words cant even begin to show how much. But I tried to tell you in this
letter, just a portion of my love for you. I will miss you, daddy, with all of my heart. I
will always be your little girl and I will never forget that...
I love you daddy, I will miss you!!
P.S. I have never been so proud of my last
name.
Sunrise - June 27, 1963
Sunset - October 1, 2003"
Additional reading about Command Sgt. Maj.
James D. Blankenbecler and his family: Hood soldier's family thankful for
community support and help |