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THE TWISTED TALE OF PRESIDENT PRETZEL

by Judith Haney

USNewsLink/January 15, 2001

Around about now, nearly everyone has heard President George Bush, #43's, version of how he sustained injuries to his face, lip, nose, eye, forehead, chin, and 'things' and places on his body that are hidden by his clothes.

Being the natural born sleuth that I am, I decided to compare the statements made to the news media by Bush, Ari Fleischer, and Dr. Tubbs, the physician who examined Bush on Sunday.

I have found discrepancies in their statements, convincing me that the pretzel story is a fabrication.

Take for example the two different versions told to the press by himself, the Prez. First he said that he "must not have been passed out for very long because (his) two dogs were in the same positions they were in before he passed out". Then, just 24-hours later the Prez said, " when I woke up my dogs were showing a great deal of concern" about him.

Being a dog owner myself, when I first heard his story about the dogs being in the same place when he woke up I didn't believe it. This is why: Bush fell very hard. When he fell he made some noise, probably a lot of noise. His injuries reveal that he hit something hard, not soft, and if the two dogs were nearby they would have been on their feet and 'probably' standing over him, OR, they would have been frightened by the noise, turning tail and scampering away.

Bush's second version about the dogs being "concerned" about him is more likely the truth. But his use of the word "concern" and "concerned" sounds contrived. Think of it this way, if I had hit my head as hard as he did, I would have said something like: I hit the hell outa my head and those damn dogs just ran off, the cowards!  But's there's one thing for certain, I WOULD NOT have said, the "dogs were concerned". See what I mean?

The second, and more important clue to the truthlessness of the pretzel story is this:

Bush hit something hard, not soft. From the looks of his various injuries, there is no way he simply fell off of a sofa onto the carpet. And, further, even if he were sitting on the 'edge' of the sofa and got choked, he would not have sustained that amount of injury by falling one foot onto the edge of a table and then falling another 1/2 foot onto the carpet. 

And in another scenario: if Bush had been sitting on a sofa, he 'probably' would have fallen over on his side, not face forward. Gravity would have 'probably' kept him on the sofa. Nobody falls face forward from a sitting position. Your backside is heavy enough to keep you 'seated'. And since a sofa is not spring-loaded, Bush would not have 'fallen off the sofa onto the carpet'.

We will probably never know how he received his injuries. But there is one thing for certain, it was not as a result of eating a pretzel, then fainting, and then falling onto the carpet from the couch.

Personally I think he is drinking again, that is if he ever stopped in the first place. As far as we know, Bush never went into rehab for his alcoholism, or attended AA meetings. And given that he is under a great deal of pressure, and that he is very isolated, away from all that he loves, i.e., baseball, the ranch, his daughters, and a simpler way of life, etc, it would not be surprising that he imbibes Jim Beam on the weekends.

It's a shame that Bush feels compelled to lie about whatever happened to his face. And it's a shame for the nation that we have to spend our time and energy trying to figure out the truth of what he is lying to us about.

And a final thought: if the same scenario had played out while Clinton was in the White House we would swear and be damned that Hillary did it to him. Am I right, or am I right?